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Sure enough, cruising slowly down the cross street, a dilapidated VW Microbus, with two visible seedy characters, passed in front of my car. I made two rights and broke every speed law to get ahead of them on a parallel street. I parked and ran out onto the sidewalk. As they got close, I flagged them down.But what to say? "Hey!! I know you guys." I laid it on thick, like I was a fan. "Fuckin' Bang Brothers!" A shook a hand with horns, thumb and pinky."Bang Broze," the guy riding shotgun corrected me. Did I hear a faint meow?The guy in back, probably the hung fucker, slid the rear door panel back. Sure enough, Vagina was cowering along the far side."Wow!! I never thought I'd meet you guys. Score anybody lately? Huh??" I played it up big, to feed their need for celebrity. Maybe it would work, or maybe they'd speed off and leave me eating their dust."Yeah, some chick that was dumber than rocks-"Wouldn't 'smart as rocks' have retained the irony? But these guys were fuckers, not writers. Can you see they allsay my little Princess on them? Isn't that the cutest thing you ever heardmy little Princess Panty boy hehehe." Mom giggles again."Here sweetie let's see how the helmet fits on you, and tell me if it's tootight or loose so I can adjust the helmet straps." Oh man she is back totalking to me like I'm a baby girl. Well I guess I am wearing a diaper andgirl's clothes so it fits I guess.Mommy puts the helmet on my head staring into my eyes as she adjusts thehelmet straps and stands back and smiles. "Okay that looks just right honey,hand me your arm Princess." I listen while she puts both my elbow pads andkneepads on me."Oh yes that looks so much better now you won't get hurt, if you crash likelast time. Let's see you give your new bicycle a little spin around thegarage sweetie pie." I look at her like she is out of her mind I feel like ababy and I look like a baby if anyone was to see me dressed like this. Iwould die if someone seen me.Mommy see's the confused look on.
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He had spent the last few weeks doing nothing but talking and talking and shaking hands and making promises and phone calls. He needed a rest.It was three days before the election, and he was booked up until the last minute. He looked over the schedule his secretary had handed him that morning. He had to preside at the opening of a shopping mall, and then drive twenty miles to make a speech before a ladies' book club, and then another speech to a group of religious leaders.He picked up his phone and said wearily, "Matilda? Listen, I'm going to cancel the shopping mall opening and the ladies' book club speech. I need some rest. I'm going home. Call me at four thirty and send me a car to take me to the Episcopal Church for the meeting with the religious leaders. Thanks, honey."He slipped on his coat and strode out of his office to the parking lot, hopping into his dark blue Pontiac and speeding off for home.Rhett Wilkerson was a strikingly handsome man for his age. At forty-two, he had.

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